Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
