By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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