matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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