So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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