At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize