I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
