tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
