I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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