Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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