I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
