Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize