Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize