i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
