Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
