She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
