rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
