it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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