i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
