Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
