the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize