Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
