are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
