you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
