Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
