Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
