dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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