My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize