is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
