I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
