So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
