Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
