I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
