When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
