we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
