there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
