Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
