i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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