the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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