420 ftw
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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