you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
