your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
