Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
