I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
