I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
