Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
