this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
