Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I party with great urgency now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
