its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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