I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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