Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
are you so shy because you have an std?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's shark week go big or go home
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
