I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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