12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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