I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize