Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
