Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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